True story! It actually happened to me last night you guys! Ok, so maybe there wasn’t a direct correlation between the two but my first thought as I was sitting on my half broken bed last night was maybe I shouldn’t have had that third helping!
So in reality I think what happened is I now have hardwood floors whereas before I had carpeting. I am guessing the middle support piece to my bed had been slipping on the hardwood and ended up cracking in half when me and my puppers jumped into bed last night. After a long and sweaty struggle to move over my king size mattress enough to get to the frame, I was finally able to slide out the broken pieces, flop the mattress back down on the floor and eventually get to sleep. Needless to say, I am on the hunt for a more sturdy bed frame this morning….any recommendations would be very welcome!
While I was in the midst of huffing and puffing to try to rectify my sleeping situation as much as I could for the night, I started laughing as it was pretty ironic that I had just eaten my body weight in pasta for dinner earlier in evening and NOW my frame chooses to gives out! I was especially hungry last night for some reason and cooked up some homemade sauce and gluten free pasta after I finished my workout. The thought did cross my mind for a split second that maybe my newly formed carb baby I was carrying around was the proverbially straw that broke my beds back. Again, I know this isn’t what happened but the fact that I could laugh about it and not for even one second feel guilty about eating that much made me stop, take notice and smile.
I have always been hard on myself. Not critical per se, but demanding of myself. My 5th grade teacher (who I loved btw, Hi Ms. Foster if you are out there!) told my parents I was a bit too much of a perfectionist for my own good. It was true then and is still true today. I am a Type A personality like you would not believe which in some parts of my life is beneficial but in others I take it too far and it does more harm than good. My relationship with food and my body has been one of those areas that in the past my Type A traits haven’t always meshed well with.
Before I started on this journey about nine months ago, my attempts to lose weight and keep the weight off were only done with the end result in mind. I paid little to no mind to how I was getting there, often starving myself, counting every gram of fat in everything I ate and/or obsessively doing cardio workouts seven days a week. I wasn’t at all concerned with what I was doing to my health, instead I was only focused on how small I could keep my pants size. Even when I was a size double zero I would have never let myself sit down and eat three bowls of pasta like I did last night! If I even at one bowl back then I would have obsessed over it for probably a week and endlessly scolded myself.
I don’t know for sure what has made this time around so different. Maybe it is because I am getting older and I realize how valuable our health is. Maybe it’s just because my priorities have changed and I no longer place more weight on the way I look over the way I feel. Maybe I have just tried and failed so many times before with exercise and diet regimens that are not sustainable that I have finally learned my lesson! It is probably a combination of all those things and even some other ones as well. I have found a really great workout program complete with an absolutely amazing support network of people all on this journey with me that has also made a huge difference this time around. Whatever it is, one thing is for sure, I am SO SO happy to have finally gotten it right!
I know this is lifestyle for me now. I know I can sustain it. I know I will succeed. I already have in so many ways and am so excited to see what hurdles I overcome next. While I still hold myself accountable, what I don’t do is beat myself up anymore. If I am really hungry one night like I was last night, I eat. If I miss a workout one day, I know I will pick right back up the next with no harm done. The changes I have seen in my body have been great. The way my mind is changing might be even more amazing though.
I also wanted to say a big thanks to everyone who reads and comments on this blog. You all are a big part of this journey as well and being able to share this process with you has been so helpful and enlightening for me. I appreciate all the support and look froward to continuing to check in and updating you with my progress and hopefully hearing about yours as well!!