Dear Twenty-Something Beth,
I am writing this letter to you as our 40th birthday is quickly approaching. Yep, the big 4-0. I know 40 sounds ridiculously over the hill to you, but here we are fast approaching that ripe old age. Thinking about reaching this milestone in life prompted me to want to write this letter to you, my younger self, in hopes I could pass along some of the wisdom I am just now acquiring as we hit (**gulp**) middle age! While I like to think I have very few regrets at this point in life, I do wish I would have started taking better care of myself, mentally and physically, a little bit sooner than I did. I know we tend to be a little bit, ok a lot bit, stubborn but it is my hope that by passing along these thoughts, feelings and lessons you will be able to navigate around some of the pitfalls that I wasn’t able to. So here you go….
Worry more about how you feel than how you look…
Prioritize your health in other words! It is our greatest asset after all girly. Yes, going out with your friends, staying up all night, eating greasy fast food at 2am is fun but do all those things in moderation. You should have some fun in your 20’s but you don’t need to be the life of the party every single night. Burning the candle at both ends is not sustainable, nor is it healthy. Your friends will still be there and like you just the same if you stay home and catch up on sleep one night or skip a happy hour to get a workout in a few times a week. Some other key ways you can start taking better care of yourself right now are:
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Drink more water and get more sleep!
Both of these things are vital for our health. Get yourself on a regular sleep schedule. Make sure you are getting about 7 hours a night. Trade one of those energy drinks for a big glass of water. It’s amazing what water does not only for our overall health but also our energy levels as well. You don’t need to run on caffeine and no sleep. You will not miss anything I promise. Develop these habits now by going to bed and waking up at relatively the same time each day and making sure you carry a water bottle with you everywhere you go. As a bonus, this will also keep our skin glowing and us looking youthful which at 40 and beyond will be a much bigger deal than you realize right now!!
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Don’t starve yourself to fit into those size 0 jeans!
Strive to be strong, not skinny! Skipping meals, restricting calories, doing cardio until you want to collapse all so you can be as skinny as possible is not only unhealthy, it is dangerous. Worry more about how you feel, not how you look. Do you feel healthy when you only eat ten crackers a day? Is it worth feeling exhausted all the time to be able to say you just bought those size 00 Abercrombie jeans you have been starving yourself to fit in? Oh my gosh girl, NO! Food is your friend, not an enemy. Eat whole, nourishing, healthy food to help your body perform at its best, keep away disease and illness, and help us age as gracefully and effortlessly as possible.
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Pick up those weights!
Instead of spending hours on that treadmill, switch up your routine and incorporate strength training into it. Like I mentioned above, being a size zero should not be your goal. You should workout to be healthy, not a stick figure. Grab some weights, build some muscles and eat so you can continue to chase after your goals. Building muscle has been the greatest thing I have done for myself in recent years. I feel amazing, look better than we did at your age (sorry but it’s true), and basically I just feel like a badass. You will not get gain a bunch of weight if you reduce the amount of cardio you are doing, you will not get bulky, I promise. You will end up falling in love with watching and feeling yourself getting stronger and more fierce with every single workout.
It’s ok not to be ok!
I know sometimes you feel less than because you have anxiety attacks. I know it is hard for you to ask for help. I know you feel weak because you can’t stop them from happening. Don’t! Having mental health struggles is nothing to be ashamed of. It is part of our story as it is a part of a lot of people’s stories. You are not alone in this even though it may feel like it sometimes. Struggling with something like anxiety, panic attacks and even depression can feel very lonely, even isolating at times. Don’t be afraid to open up and talk to the people in your life that love you. You are truly blessed to have these people to turn to (which is a whole other lesson for another time). Let them know when you need help. Don’t beat yourself up because you feel like you should be stronger than this. Not being ok sometimes is perfectly ok. Nobody, I repeat, nobody is ok all the time no matter how it may seem. One of the most important things to do when you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious or uneasy is just to breathe! Trust me when I tell you the majority of the time whatever it is you are stressing over, worrying about and/or losing sleep because of will turn out to be just fine in the end. And in the small chance that it is not all ok, you will survive. You are stronger and more capable than you think of not only surviving but thriving! Just keep breathing….
Don’t worry so much about what other people think…
They are not you after all. What works for us may not be what works for them. Heck, what works for us may not be the most popular or mainstream things to be doing but you need to live your life for you. You are going to have to make decisions in your life that are going to be tough ones. Make those decisions based on what’s best for you and what is going to make you happy. People may disagree. They may have their own opinions. Actually, they will for sure have an opinion. A lot of the time people will have your best interest at heart. Sometimes they won’t. There is nothing wrong with listening to the opinions of others and taking in what they are saying but just remember you are the one who has to live the outcome of those decisions, not them. If they don’t like it, trust me they will get over it. And if they don’t, are they really someone you want in your life anyway? Which leads me to my next piece of advice…
Not everyone and everything is meant for you…and that’s ok!
With age comes the wisdom that sometimes some people and/or situations just are not meant for you. It is ok to recognize this and walk away. There is no shame in throwing in the towel to preserve your emotional and mental well-being. If you’re in a toxic relationship with a person get out of it. If the job you are in is not making you happy, find a new one. Life is far too short to remain in things or with people who are not good for your self-esteem, self-worth or just overall happiness. You are the only one who can control if you are happy or not. Do not look to other people or outside influences to find it. Create your own happiness by surrounding yourself with people who are good for your soul and want the best for you. You can’t change people so pick your battles and choose your fights wisely. Know that for the most part what you see is what you get with people. Also know the way a person treats you is really a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Remember that everyone is fighting a battle that you can’t see. Be kind when you can. Be firm when you t need to and most importantly at the end of the day if that little voice inside you is telling you that something isn’t right, LISTEN! And finally…
Learn how to say “no”
The old saying really is true, you can’t pour from an empty cup. There is nothing wrong with prioritizing your wellbeing. There is nothing selfish in admitting you are overwhelmed and can’t possibly take on one more thing. People pleasing is in our nature, always has been. We tend to take on more things than we can really handle because we hate to let people down. Girl, we need to get this in check. It is admirable to be a kind, giving person but not at the expense of yourself. There is also nothing wrong in saying no but explaining why you are respectfully declining. People will end up respecting you more if you stand up for yourself and voice your opinion in a respectful manner. It is my experience that unfortunately SOME people will take, take, take until you set boundaries. Having healthy boundaries does not mean you are cold or mean or selfish, it means you know your worth, have self-respect and are able to recognize when something or someone is asking more of you than able or wanting to give.
As an older and oh so very slightly wiser version of you, I hope you take at least some of what I said in this letter to heart. If nothing else, continue to love yourself and know that you are stronger than you probably think and more capable than you can even imagine. Tune out all the negative energy that inevitably comes along sometimes in life and focus on continuing to grow and better yourself every chance you get. Read as many books as you can. Travel every chance you get. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things as often as possible. Smile at strangers. Most importantly live every day with a grateful heart. There is so much to be thankful for in this life and even on days that those things seem few and far between know tomorrow is a new day and the bad days just make you stronger. And once again please please, please, don’t forget to take care of your body, it’s the only one we get!
Xoxoxo,
Almost 40-Year Old Beth
One more thing…
If you wouldn’t mind taking a second and voting on my poll below I would greatly appreciate it! Your feedback on this site means the world to me so I would love to get your opinion!
Thank you as always!!
Great advice 👍
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Thank you! 🙂
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Amazing!
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Aww thank you sooo much! 🙂
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Great job on this post and happy upcoming 40th!
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Thank you and thank you!!! 🙂
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Great concept in writing this letter to the younger you, I think it adds depth to your character and gives you resolve for the future.
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I turned 40 last year. With a focus on my physical and mental health, listening to my body, and feeding it properly, I’ve never felt more healthy and alive. I feel 25! Great advice in this post, thank you for sharing!
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I feel better than I did at 25 as well! Bring on 40! Thanks so much for reading!! 🙂
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Hey, just wait till you’re staring at 50! Cripes, where did the time go?!
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Haha I feel like that now! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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40 years old is peanuts for someone who is healthy and fit. By cultivating a healthy lifestyle I rock at age 53….
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That’s what I;’m telling myself lol! Thank you for reading! 🙂
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Thanks for posting great content. I agree with most of this stuff! Rock on. I turn 41 on November 11 2019. Glad to know you are almost 40 too.
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Learning to have boundaries and saying “no” is very important. Great advice!
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Thank you so much for reading! 🙂
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Love this post darling.
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Sharing this one with my daughters. 🙂
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Awww I hope she likes it! 🙂
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And, happy birthday!!
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Thank you so much!!! 🙂
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I can really relate to this post! So true! P.s. 40’s are amazing!
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Yay…good to hear! I am looking forward to them! Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂
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The real trick is getting our younger selves to take the advice our older selves have suffered to be able to give.
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I know right?!
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Lovely and wise message.. I wish I had such wisdom when I was in my 20s 🙂
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Me too! I think I just like to learn the hard way lol. Thanks so much for reading! 🙂
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It nice to realize that you are still learning life skills that you wish you new before. I don’t think it ever stops. As has been mentioned at 50 time flys. Good read good advice, learned the hard way.
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Me too! I think learning the hard way sometimes makes the lesson really stick! Thanks as always for reading….:)
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These are all great advises to remember! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
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Thank you so much for reading! 🙂
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Great advice! And you look incredible for 40 (which is the new 30 anyway I hear?!)
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Haha thanks! That’s what Im telling myself! 🙂
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Couldn’t agree more. I am definitely gonna write to myself.
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I really enjoyed it! I think I am going to do it again soon! Thank you for reading! 🙂
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Very well said! Wish I had known some of these things as my 20-something year old as well 😉 (and don’t fret over the big 4-0. You’re beautiful inside out!)
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haha thank you so much!! 🙂
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Good one…. You have described everything beautifully….
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Thank you so much…I really appreciate you stopping by and reading! 🙂
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My pleasure….
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Valuable advice as I approach the big 8-0!
😱
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Wow congrats!!! 🙂
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🎅🏼
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Oh how I wish I could tell twenty-something old me these things! ❤ Thanks for sharing the thoughtful post!
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Thank you so much for reading! 🙂
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Love your blog so much and this post is full of great advice, my favourite quote is: “There is nothing wrong with listening to the opinions of others and taking in what they are saying but just remember you are the one who has to live the outcome of those decisions, not them.”
You’re very wise and should be a life coach or write a book exploring these themes.
I wrote myself a letter when I turned 21 which I will read if I reach 30 (currently 25).
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Aww thank you so much for the very kind words! Hope some of it helps!! 🙂
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Love the concept! Inspiration for writing to my 40self as I near 60!
I also think that the 20somethings of the here and now should be informed, but the I didn’t tend to listen when I was that age!
😁
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Very true about that! I didn’t listen to anyone when I was in my 20’s! Thanks for reading! 🙂
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Reblogged this on LiveTheHikeLife and commented:
For anyone contemplating the next (or the last) 20 years!
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awww thank you!! 🙂
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Love it. Great advice. Just imagine if everyone ate and lived healthy from childhood on! Doctors would definitely have fewer patients and big pharmaceutical companies would not be as big.
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I know right?! Maybe our healthcare wouldn’t be so expensive also!! Thanks for stopping by and reading! 🙂
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You are absolutely correct. It would save money and most importantly lives.
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The best thing about the past is, that you can’t change it! And that’s indeed the best because you never know what kind of a person you’d become if something from your past would be missing!
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So very true!
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This is great to read as a girl in her 20’s now!
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Oh great…hope you found some of it useful!! 🙂 Thank you for reading!
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Love your blog
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Thank you so much!
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Great post!
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Thank you!!
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Great! I have some piece of advice as well, you are an inspiration!
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Thank you!! 🙂
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Great article! Thank you for sharing this post! 😊
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Thank you for reading! 🙂
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It is my pleasure! 😊
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This is really helpful!
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Thank you!! 🙂
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Awesome advice!! Keep writing n inspiring! 😊
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Aww thank you so much!! 🙂
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Now i need to tell my younger self something 🙂
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Haha I can think of a million other things I would like to tell my younger self but didn’t want to ramble on too long! Thank you for reading! 🙂
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For me, the challenge is to decide which thoughts I should not include otherwise post might ens up having billions of the words
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me too!
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Love this, great insight!! Thank you 🙂
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Thank you so much!! I really appreciate you stopping by and reading! 🙂
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I love all of this so much. My 20 something self needed this letter too.
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I never considered doing this before, but i did. It was a bit of an eye opener, but thoroughly enjoyed doing it and completely grateful you suggested it. Thank you.x
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I had a really great time writing it actually! Thank you for reading!! 🙂
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I’ve nominated you for the sunshine blogger award on my site ✌️❤️
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Oh wow…thank you!!!! I will go check it out now! 🙂
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My pleasure. You deserve it! Hope you’re having the best day ever!👊✌️❤️
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What a piece of sound advice!
How funny it is that we all realize these facts of life only after we have crossed 40! Never before that, esp when we are in our 20s or our 30s when we need it so much. But, as they say, better late than never, right?
Loved reading your letter, FAB! These are the things I keep reminding myself as I inch towards my 50s and wish I had known couple of decades earlier.
Cheerio!
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I’m smiling because when I hear myself giving advice to others, I often notice it’s exactly the advice I need myself at that very moment. So the letter to our younger self has special value: we have the wisdom we need already. If only it didn’t take so long to Co e to the surface….
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Throughout my life, I’ve been preoccupied with how “old” I was growing, ashamed of my well-used skin, unhappy about needing lower gears and plusher suspension on my bike. And then I read a line in “Almost Somewhere”, by Suzanne Roberts, a book about through hiking the John Muir Trail. The author met a seventy-something hiker with leathery skin and stringy muscles. The woman told her she still loved her legs because they could still take her to places like the JMT. At forty, you feel so much wiser than you were at twenty; and indeed you are. But just wait. It gets better and better!
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Most important point – don’t worry about what others think because it’s all about exploring your strengths to keep yourself internally happy. Been working on this for last 4 years and I have only gotten stronger.
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So true and so great to hear! Thank you for stopping by and reading! 🙂
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110% agreed!
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I’m only 20 myself and even though your situation doesn’t fit me perfectly I do need to start looking after myself better. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve taken to being better as you’ve aged and there are things I can take from this so thanks. Good luck going forward.
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A good piece of advice, which I shall try to follow.. thank you so much for sharing..!!
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Thank you for reading!! 🙂
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This is awesome ! Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you for reading! 🙂
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Happy belated 40th bday…..
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Thank you!!!
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This post makes so much sense but I guess even after reading this I will still drive myself insane. I wish I was 40 too.
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